Give Yourself A Pat On The Back
By: Emily Bottegal
When I worked in the schools, May was my favorite month of the school year. There was Teacher Appreciation Day, Mother’s Day, the school year was winding down, standardized testing was over, and we were able to have fun with the students on field trips, school spirit weeks, and celebrations. Countdown calendars were posted in classrooms giving the students (and teachers) the summer itch.
This May feels much different than years past. Because of COVID-19, we are not in the school buildings thanking our teachers and staff, we are not able to run around on field day competing with our students, we are missing out on the excitement of going to new places on school trips, and we are not able to bring our mothers together for a school-wide “we love you” party - but that doesn’t mean we cannot smile and have fun. May is a busy month of appreciation and awareness, giving us plenty to celebrate. Let's take advantage of the positive right now! Get ready to give yourself some pats on the back.
Who Is Getting A Pat On The Back?
Many of us have been quarantined for months. Here in Maryland, we are on week 9 or 10, maybe even 25, who knows. For me, the first 2 weeks felt like eternity, but I have been able to get into a groove of working, home schooling, vacuuming every hour, and trying to manage some sense of sanity. My house is [finally] running on a routine - we know what to expect each day. That deserves a nice pat on the back.
Families: We have even created routines for when we go out. We don’t leave our house without masks, gloves, sanitizer, and even Clorox wipes. Groceries get wiped down before they are packed in the car, clothes are immediately washed when we get home, everyone is in the shower, etc. We even have a routine for going outside on walks or playing in the yard with toys. We are following these routines. That deserves a nice pat on the back.
Students: Our students have had to adjust to constantly changing expectations in the classroom, learn a new way of doing school, stop seeing their friends and classmates and still try to be a “normal” kid. They are adjusting to so many changes and handling it with so much grace. This week a college client of mine told me her semester grades. While she was extremely excited about one of the grades, she did not do as well as she expected in another class. That class was the bane of her existence in college and it was the second time she had to take it. She passed this time. It wasn’t her dream grade, but she passed. She was so focused on that final letter, that she couldn’t even dare give herself some sort of congratulations for not missing a class, turning in all her work, and even doing well on the final. The skills and knowledge she learned this semester are worth so much more than that letter grade, and did I mention, she passed! That deserves a nice pat on the back.
Teachers: Teachers, it’s the end of the school year. Some of you are even done. You were faced with a challenge and overcame it. You were in the school building daily with those kids for 7 months, then packed up your classroom with almost no warning, brought it home, juggled your at-home responsibilities while continuing to teach the students via the internet, still assigned and graded work, created new lesson plans to adapt to virtual learning, kept up with your administrative duties, emailed with parents, prepped your students for the AP exam, and some of you even made direct phone calls and hosted private tutoring sessions for your students to make sure they were safe and understanding the material. Many of you went above and beyond a teacher’s role over the last few months, and you should celebrate yourself and that impact you are making on our young people. That deserves a nice pat on the back.
Mental Health Professionals: To all the mental health professionals, we are endlessly indebted to the countless hours you are working with young people and adults during this emotional time. New mental health groups are constantly popping up around the country to help support individuals who were having trouble during this time, whether facing anxiety, depression, OCD, or other mental health challenges. You continued to meet with clients in person up until the last possible day, and like other professionals, packed up your office or clinic in a matter of minutes and brought your work home with you to continue to provide services. You multitasked keeping your own mental health (or your family’s) in check, while helping those around you. May is mental health awareness month, and as we celebrate all the diseases, we also celebrate you. That deserves a nice pat on the back.
Healthcare Workers: You are on our front lines fighting for us every day. You are putting your own needs aside to ensure the safety and health of those around you. You are working long hours, spending much time away from your families, and seeing very challenging circumstances unfold in front of you. You are working tirelessly in the midst of a lot of uncertainty and fear. You are upholding your commitment to care for your patients even thought that may be putting yourself at risk. You are our heroes and you are giving your all to serve your communities. That deserves a nice pat on the back.
Moms and Dads: Moms and dads, you are amazing. You act as a teacher, therapist, coach, cheerleader, chef, nurse, housekeeper, friend, mediator, secretary, and handyman. Your skill set is through the roof. I could write an entire blog about what it means to be a parent, but you already know. You are juggling it all. For everything you do between the hours of 12:00am to 11:59pm, please celebrate your success in this role. That deserves a nice pat on the back.
There are so many more people that could be mentioned, including our essential workers who are keeping our stores and systems running, grandparents who are having to spend time away from their grandchildren, people who are struggling to figure out what their new day to day looks like. Give yourself a pat on the back— you are in the midst of a global pandemic and you are doing your absolute best!
How To Give Yourself That Pat On The Back
Sometimes it feels crazy to say to yourself “hey, I did great today”, but we should still do it. Our brain needs that boost of happiness. If it is challenging to find a success, start by setting small goals for yourself. Some of us celebrate the fact that we finished the laundry in one day, while others celebrate the fact that clothes made it out of the dryer within a week. Some of us celebrate when we complete a todo list, while others celebrate they actually wrote down tasks for a todo list. Some of us work on a specific time-controlled schedule, while others work best with an untimed routine. Reflect on your week or your month and think about what you were able to get through or get done. Write it down to remind yourself you did great! Tell a friend or family member (or the family pet). Remember when you were little and your dad would hang one of your coloring pages on the door, or mom would put your “A” test on the refrigerator? That made you feel good. Let’s not stop encouraging ourselves just because we are older. Take the time to treat yourself even if just for a few seconds.
Indulge in that special treat- take a nap, watch a movie, binge a series, have that extra slice of chocolate cake, try TikTok (keep that one a secret). Most things in moderation are not too harmful, as long as we feel good afterwards. Allow yourself to take a breath and feel good before you dive back into your daily routine.
What are some other great ways to honor someone in your life? Create a personal home-video to send to a teacher, nurse, mom, or anyone else in your life to celebrate their success and your appreciation. Similarly, try creating a voice recording on your phone or computer and send it to someone special to thank them for all their hard work. You can also record a message to yourself and play it back at a later date to remind you of all the great success you have accomplished.
Want to be super creative? Download an app like TouchNote or MyPostcard, to create and send a personalized postcard to someone special in your life to say thank you.
Try writing a letter to one person everyday for a week to tell them how much you appreciate them.
Success looks different to each person. Whatever success looks like and feels like to you, please make sure you are cognizing and appreciating all the positives you have done recently. Most of us have transitioned our lives, our routines, and our habits, to a whole new way of life- whether you were a traveling salesman or a stay at home mom, your life and daily grind has been altered and you are still doing great. As we continue to venture through the unknown, please remember to acknowledge your self worth and how important you are. That deserves a nice pat on the back.