Reminder to Feed the Fish
By: Emily Bottegal
Up until recently, we always thought goldfish have a three-second memory. They could swim around their bowl minute after minute and every new sight would be new to them. Zoey, my daughter’s ping pong game goldfish won at a county carnival last summer, is always begging for food. We assumed it was because she didn’t remember she just ate so we took turns feeding her more and more and more until we caught each other dumping food in her bowl. To avoid the overfeeding and eventual goldfish bursting we came up with a feeding system. I leave a pink post-it note with a big fish symbol on it stuck to the fridge to alert my daughter it is her turn to feed Zoey. The post-it serves as an alert, the color is bright enough for her to notice, and the fridge is our consistent hub for family notes and reminders.
Having a central place for your family to share events, school notices, messages, and even household chore tasks is a great way to help with family communication. Family schedules are so busy; kids at school and extracurriculars, parents at work and running errands. We are constantly missing each other. We may send texts or leave messages, but those can be overlooked or quickly forgotten. Below are some recommended steps to create a communication headquarters for your family.
Choose A Place in the House
Find a place in your home that is frequently visited by all members of the family. We chose our kitchen, but other spots include the garage, foyer, living room space, the back of the front door, or even where you eat your meals. Adults and children both benefit from visual cues as a reminder, so a hub should be somewhere in the home you go regularly or pass by often. Think- if you needed to leave your child or spouse a note, where would you leave it that you know they would see it? Also remember, the hub should be a constant place in the home, so choose somewhere that you won’t have to move papers around or that often gets covered up with a backpack or coat.
Set Up Materials
I always recommend a monthly calendar for families to hang on the wall. Both adults and youths can add to the calendar important events like “John’s birthday, dinner @ 7,” “vacation,” or “1/2 day”. This way everyone in the family knows what is coming up for the day, week, or month. Having a wall calendar in the family hub also serves as a great visual cue reminder. While electronic calendars are wonderful and a great tool, like text messages, they can be ignored. And until you get in the habit of checking iCal or Google Calendars, a paper calendar is a great tool to keep everyone’s schedule in a central place. If you are using an electronic calendar successfully, you can also print the calendar and post it instead of creating two versions. A bulletin board is another great resource if you find your family has a lot of invitations or paper flyers/notices. I tend to leave post-its for reminders, and have colored pens for each person in our family. No need to take it that far! Here are some suggested materials:
Cork board & dry erase calendar
Introduce the New Hub and Rules
The hub isn’t just for you, it’s for your whole family. Take the time to introduce your children and spouse to the space- let them know what you are using it for, what they can add to the space, how often are they supposed to look, etc.... For example, if there is a school note, are they supposed to give it to you directly or just put it on the bulletin board? If they want to go out, or they have an extracurricular event, should they put it on the calendar, or ask you first? How are they supposed to leave you messages?
Establishing a set of norms and guidelines is important to making your family hub work.
Be Consistent
Once you create and begin using this space, it is important you keep up with it. New tools only work with consistency. If you are asking your three-year-old to feed the goldfish with post-its, she has to know where to look and what to look for. This is true for all adults, teens, and children.
The family hub not only serves as a great space to keep track of everything going on in each other’s lives, but also helps with family communication. When your child can walk past a wall calendar and see he or she has soccer at 5, it can help prompt them to get their soccer uniform and equipment ready. You may have to continue to remind them a few times, but with consistent calendar notifications, the number of prompts may decrease. And who doesn’t want to stop reminding their child what they need each day!
Being able to see when your family is busy also allows you to see when your family is free. Use your unscheduled time to do something fun with your family! Let your kids come up with a list of things they want to do, like going out for pizza and a movie, going ice skating, playing board games, or even an impromptu day trip. Watch how setting up an effective communication headquarters in your home can increase the communication for your family.